Posts: 89 Location: Usually at a Lifestone Joined: 07.04.06
Posted on 03-05-2006 13:38
Ayan Baqur, Dereth (APS) – On what was a hot muggy evening last Saturday, an intrepid band of explorers set off from Qalaba’r on a grueling run towards the booming metropolis known as Ayan Baqur. This in itself would not be extraordinary, except for the fact that not only would they run the entire way, but they would also be as nekkid as a Gromnie.
As this was this reporters first experience in the Naked Butt Monkey Run, I had no idea what to expect standing around Qalaba’r in my skivvies. As a Sho UA Warrior, I was used to intense pain and suffering, but I really had no idea just how much pain and suffering I was in for.
It started when the Chief Judge, the Lady Corker, went around and pinned numbers on our backs. This in itself was not unusual, but the fact that she pinned it directly to my skin was a bit irritating. And when I turned around to see what number I was given, all I could make out was “Kick Me”, so I was never quite sure what my official number was throughout the race.
The command to start was soon given, and the contestants all took off in separate directions. I opted for the scenic beach route, as I really didn’t consider myself enough of a mountain goat to make it through the mountainous passes that lay ahead. Besides, running along the beach would be easier on my feet, and the ocean air is easier on my allergies.
I soon fell into a rhythm consisting of run, dodge, get hit, yell in pain, run, stop, wait for health to regenerate, and repeat every 2 or 3 mins. I was beginning to like this run, and the solitude left me time to contemplate my decision to become a Rebel and support the Queen.
But my solitude was soon interrupted by a green blip on my radar screen. It soon became apparent that Mo Majik was fast overtaking me. A much faster runner than I, he soon pulled up to me and I could see his entire body was tattooed with sponsorship endorsements like Asheron’s Depot, Pack Toys R’Us, and McDereths, to name but a few. I could tell, MM was a professional. He did this type of racing for a living.
He saw me struggling and briefly shouted a few words of encouragement, “Hey n00bsauce, watch out for those level 5 drudges, or you’re going to get wtfpwned!!!”
I waved my acknowledgement and likewise wished him well as I watched him race ahead of me. But my reverie was short lived as word soon came across that the Lady Nomi crashed and burned. Evidently she had stopped to ask directions at a Shadow Camp, and they took exception to the intrusion.
Feeling a renewed sense of purpose, as I now had the responsibility of carrying the banner of Smallest Toon. I imaged the acclaim, adulation, and attendant fame I would no doubt receive after running into AB ahead of all of the seasoned, veteran, high level toons. Unfortunately while daydreaming, I was not watching where I was going and immediately ran into a swarm of wasps that made short order of me ten times over.
My first run was over, almost as quickly as it started, but I did take solace in the fact that I got more than half way to Candeth Keep. I soon joined the Ladies Nomi and Corker at the AB lifestone while we awaited the leaders of the run. We watched the hustle and bustle that is currently Ayan Baqur, as we listened in on the screams of the lost, injured, and dying participants. One by one, they fell to the wayside, and we were just about to give up hope of seeing anyone finish when our Monarch ran up, with Dangerous D right behind, and followed shortly thereafter by Blanco Radiate.
Officially declared the winner, Dangerous D, also known as Sir Dangerous D to his closest friends, was hardly worse for the wear. Except for a few dozen puncture wounds, magic burns over most of his body, and the fact that he was nekkid, one would never had known that he just trekked from Q-town to the big AB in his birthday suit.
As the sun slowly set, the birds settled down, and AB returned to normal, and just as assuredly as we know the sun will rise again the following day, the name of Dangerous D will go forever into the annals of the Naked Butt Monkey Run. Just like those of the other famous winners like, hmm, and, hmm, OK, I’ll have to get back to you on that one.
stormy 26/10/2007 14:50 I am most of the Time and if anyone needs help, please give a shout. XP is good but You have been Kind to change Friday nite quest times the least i can do is help
stormy 26/10/2007 14:39 Guess the website/Registration was not a good idea?
All is well
Peace
Isaiah 40:31
Peace
Isaiah 40:31